Honoring God with Our Bodies

I feel I need to give a brief introduction to this topic and state some assumptions.  First off, I am a Christian and a CrossFitter.  I think the subject of Christianity would apply to all sports in general but since my interest lies in CrossFit, that's which sport I specifically mention and refer to in this article.  I strongly believe that CrossFit is superior to any other fitness program out there.  Secondly, I am assuming I'm preaching to the choir.  Meaning, I am making an argument that physical fitness matters to God to other Believers.  I am hoping that this is a persuasive yet inspiring article to Christians to get fit!  I am not trying to persuade non-Christians to become Christians or saying that CrossFit is a Christian-only sport.  So basically if you are an evangelical Atheist you will LOVE this article.  (hee hee hee)  Third, because I am a born-again Christian my belief system is built and based on the validity, integrity, and authority of the Bible as the spoken Word of God.  Now you as the reader know where my world view is coming from.    As always, I appreciate your time in reading.  I hope you can be encouraged and blessed in some way!   ~Aimee

"You're beautiful the way you are."

"Accept yourself, love yourself."

"God loves you just the way you are, you don't need to worry about your weight."

I've heard Christians make all of these comments and many more to other Christians.  Seriously people?  This is yet another area of modern Christianity that is not based on the Bible.  God commands us to love each other (John 15:17) and even do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16:14). He also commands  us to live in truth (James 1:18), speak the truth (Zechariah 8:16) , stay away from lies (Proverbs 11:3), and seek the truth (John 14:6).  The Bible also tells us that our bodies are to be treated like God's temple; or in other words His house and His home (1 Corinthians 6:19).  While it’s true that God loves us sinners unconditionally just the way we are (Romans 5:8), it’s also true that He loves us too much to leave us that way (1 Corinthians 5:7 & Romans 12:1-2).

I think every person who claims to be a Christian would completely agree with me on all these points. Then why do the same people make comments like the ones I mentioned above that contradict these verses?  I believe it's because the average Christian does not read God's word enough, pastors do not teach certain messages in the Bible, and therefore non-Christian ideas and principles are creeping in the minds and hearts of Believers.

The Bible commands us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15 & 1 Corinthians 13:1-13).    Often times people don't want to hear the truth.  Is it loving to keep the truth from people or to help them believe a lie?  Is it loving to encourage a fellow believer to sin?  Yes, I said, it; sin?   Let's get down to the nitty-gritty of what I'm talking about.

First, let me be clear about what I’m not talking about.  I am not talking about external beauty.  I’m talking about our health and fitness.  I’m talking about how we treat our bodies.  Our bodies do not belong to us; they belong to God (1 Cor. 6:19-20).  But we are stewards of our bodies.  Are we – as we are supposed to be – in charge of our bodies?  Or are we slaves to our bodies’ whims (I don’t feel like exercising.  I feel like eating a donut, instead of an omelet)?

In case you’re wondering, God does care about how we treat our bodies.  He commands us to honor Him with our bodies (1 Cor. 6:20).  Do we honor Him with our bodies if we are 200 pounds overweight?  Do we honor him if we are socially accepted as "skinny" but we constantly eat junk food and are so weak we can't lift a bag of dog food?  He does care.   God commands us to be self controlled (Galatians 5:22-23) and to not give into gluttony (Proverbs 23).  Pastors don't like to preach messages about gluttony because people will get mad.  People get mad because they don't want to change their lifestyles or feel uncomfortable when they go to church.  I get that; but we need to not cherry-pick the Word of God or only apply it to certain topics.  For example, I've heard sermons about self control in regards to almost every topic; sex, internet, television, video games, alcohol, etc. etc. but not once, ever, about food.  Self control applies to food and exercise as much as it does to all those other areas.

The Bible rarely mentions exercise but think about what a woman's life was like back then. She was up before sunrise washing, scrubbing, cooking, lifting, carrying water, all physical work. She didn't need to join a gym because she worked like a dog all day.

Consider the story of when Isaac was ready for a wife (refer to Genesis 24 for complete story). Isaac and his family were living in Canaan (specifically Shechem) which is now the modern day Palestinian city called Nablus.  Abraham didn't want Isaac to marry a woman who worshiped pagan gods, like the local girls, so he sent his servant, Eliezer, to look for a wife for Issac from their homeland called Ur Kasdim.  Ur Kasdim was about 500 miles away.  Of course the common mode of travel was by camel.  When Eliezer reached Ur Kasdim  he prayed he would recognize the wife for Issac because she would offer to water the camels.  Eliezer had about 10 camels with him.  Of course, Rebecca offers him a drink and to water his camels.

Most wells back then were a type of cistern, and drawing water was women’s work.   She had to physically walk down stairs into the well, draw water to fill her huge clay jar, and walk back up the cistern with it.  She typically carried these huge jugs or jars on her head or shoulders and they weighed about 50 pounds or more when full.  So in the story it was no small feat for Rebecca to water Eliezer's camels.  He had 10 camels and a thirsty camel can drink up to 30 gallons of water in one sitting.  That means Rebecca carried about 300 gallons of water (2,504 lbs, not counting the jug!)  up from the well into the trough.  Do you think she was a frail, skinny thing; or 100 pounds overweight?  Probably not.

God did not design women to be weak.  He even tells us that strength is an ideal feminine quality (Prov. 31:17).

Until recently, our grandmothers’ daily chores were equally physically demanding, but our modern life in American and Europe  is not like this anymore.  The vast majority of jobs require us sitting in front of a computer all day.  We also have machines to do almost everything for us.  Add that to the way a typical American eats; processed food, high amounts of sugar and grains and you have the perfect combination of gaining excess body fat and causing inflammation; inflammation which is the true cause of heart disease, not cholesterol.  My point is that we need to pay special attention to diet and exercise even more now than back in Biblical times.

God did design us all individually.  We are all built differently; heights, weights, shapes, sizes, and colors.  God does love us the way we are.  Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love fur us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God does love us, no matter what we look like or what size we are. Whether we struggle with anorexia or are morbidly obese.  The Bible also says in Romans 8:38-39 that nothing can separate us from the love of God! Amen to that!  That is wonderful news.  However, these verses don't say anything about God wanting us to stay the way we are or that he's specifically happy with our choices.  So is it true that "You're beautiful the way you are?"  Well, God does love us regardless of our appearance or sin in our lives but that says nothing about what God thinks about how we treat His temple.  God loves us even when we disobey Him and sin against Him by dishonoring his temple.

The next logical question is why does God care?  It's just like the rules my husband and I set for our kids; they are for their own good.  We don't let our kids play in the street because they could get hit by a car.  We don't let them eat ice cream for dinner because it's not good for them.  We make them brush their teeth to keep them clean and healthy.  God's rules for His children, us, are no different.  We will live longer and happier lives if we are fit.  We will not be crippled old ladies. We'll be able to do more activities with our great grandchildren.  Limiting the amounts of sugar and simple carbohydrate is good for us.  When we use self control to get out of bed to make it to the gym before work, it's for our own good.  God is pleased when we honor  Him with our bodies.  It helps develop His character in us.  Diet and exercise are physical things but they quickly turn into affecting the mind and spirit as well.

That's why we feel more confident after working out.  We feel proud of ourselves.  We feel empowered.  I don't believe any of that is just coincidence.  God even designed our bodies to release endorphins while working out; that was pretty cool of Him I think.

"Accept yourself, love yourself".  Like all effective lies there is a grain of truth in it.  We do have to accept things about ourselves that we don't like; maybe it's your nose, your skin, your curly hair.  Maybe you hate your hips or wish you were taller; we all have things we wish we could change. Some things we do just have to accept.  I will never be taller.  In fact, chances are I might be getting shorter over the years. I can't possibly change that, I just have to accept it.  But we don’t have to accept poor health and fitness caused by bad habits.  Although it varies greatly in difficulty, we can control and manage our weight.  We chose daily what we put into our mouths and how active we are.  "Accepting yourself" should not be an excuse to live an unhealthy lifestyle.

We Christians need to first stop believing these lies about our bodies.  We need to get into the Word and see all the areas that God does care about.  We need to encourage each other in love to make wise choices. I'm not saying that you approach your girlfriend and at church and say, "Hey girl, we need to talk about that junk in your trunk."  I am saying though that pastors should be preaching about honoring God with our bodies, churches should have gyms and classes.  I think we should be active with our kids; hiking, biking, eating healthy.  I also think we should stop supporting some of the crazy stuff people do to lose weight.  I see stuff on Facebook ALL of the time.  Someone says, "Hey I lost 30 pounds on the Cabbage Soup Diet" and there are 24 posts from other Christians; "congrats", "You look amazing", or "Keep up the good work".  We should rejoice with others and be happy for them, but when they are losing body fat in a healthy way, not some crash diet.  When you see that happening, don't comment.  If you live close, suggest to your friend that she join you for a CrossFit workout.  My point is that we should support and encourage each other to make good choices so that we can live long and happy lives.

My prayer is that we will all not just survive in our lives, but as John 10:10 says, to live it abundantly.  Some synonyms for abundantly are richly, lavishly, and bountifully.  What wonderful words to live by.  God also want us to live free.  One of my favorite Bible verses is Galatians 5:1, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Don't be deceived or naive; we are being fed lies constantly.  Lies that want to make us a slave to something.  Lies that tell us God doesn't care about our bodies.  Why do you think Satan would want us to believe that lie?  Satan hates us, he wants us to dishonor God and slowly commit suicide with unhealthy choices.   Not only that, he wants us to beat ourselves up about it too.  If you have ever struggled with your weight you know what I'm talking about.  It's a vicious cycle of being tempted to eat unhealthy, choosing to eat unhealthy, then feeling guilty about it, then deciding to change, then getting frustrated about not seeing progress in the gym or on the scale, which leads us back to being tempted to eat unhealthy because we think "what's the point?".  That is not freedom to me.  That is being burdened and enslaved to your own body.  I've heard many morbidly overweight people make comments like "I felt trapped in my body" or "I felt like I was in a prison".  How does that compare to this statement?

“But I discipline my body, and make it my slave for fear that, having proclaimed the Gospel to others; I should be rejected as a counterfeit.”  ~ 1 Corinthians 9:27

We can either make our bodies our slaves, or we can be slaves to our bodies.  There’s no in-between.

The truth is we are free in Christ!  Hallelujah right?!? If we are slaves to something - even our own bodies- it is only by choice.  I want all of us to love other enough to encourage each other to live our lives abundantly and freely.  So start with your own life today.  Get some accountability, find a gym that focuses on all components of fitness; agility, accuracy, balance, coordination, cardiovascular endurance, flexibility, power, speed, strength, and stamina.  Do some research on diets; get back to eating what God designed us to eat which is meat, fruit, vegetables, and good fats.  Take control of what you can in your life and rely on God's daily grace for everything else.  Stop making excuses. You can do it with God's help!

Welcome To Rock Bottom: Population One

Jeremiah; the world's cutest baby (only because his
siblings are no longer babies!).

On March 20, 2012 at 5:03 p.m. my husband and I welcomed our 2nd biological baby into the world!  Jeremiah was 19.75 inches long, 7.4 pounds, and has been growing every since.  He's a good eater!  Hopefully all of that breastfeeding will help some body fat come off of me!  We are experiencing the typical "new baby" adjustments such as sleep deprivation, new schedules (or lack there of), balancing attention with all of the other kids, and of course the overwhelming joy of a new life in our home.

My main focus in life is always my family.  My life is dedicated to them.  However, Crossfit, now blogging, and an occasional afternoon out keep me sane.  So, while the older 5 kids do school, our toddler's in front of the television, and the newborn naps, I'm trying to get some writing in.

In the midst of all these blessings and often times chaos, I realize that I think I've officially hit "rock bottom".  I'm healing from the birth of our son so I have to wait at least 6 weeks to get back in the gym.  Which is okay because I'm so sleep deprived the idea of a WOD right now may be close to one of the last things my body wants to do.  I'm not working out and now that there's no baby filling up my body I'm left with what's left over; stretch marks, extra skin, varicose veins and of course lovely fat.  I feel terrible, I look awful, I'm tired and overwhelmed.  I think these are all normal feelings to have after a new baby but hopefully this is as bad as my body will get.  I think, and even hope, this is my rock bottom.

So what the heck do I do now?  Well, I'm enjoying my gorgeous new baby, getting help where I can, and my new double stroller arrived today so I can start going for walks with my two littlest boys.  I'm back to Paleo with my diet so for right now I feel like I'm doing all I can.  I am losing weight, body fat I hope, and don't want to rush my healing.  I am eager to return to the gym when my body is ready.  I admit, though, that I wonder how much progress this time off will cost me.  Don't get me wrong - my baby is totally worth it - but I think it's okay for me to be a little bummed that I'll be starting over on a lot of things when I return.

Maybe you've just had a baby too or have reached some other kind of rock bottom; spouse is complaining about your appearance, your wedding ring doesn't fit anymore, you don't fit into one seat on an airplane, you get winded going up the stairs...whatever it happens to be; Welcome to Rock Bottom.  I'm Aimee, the Mayor here.  The first step to leaving is to admit that you are here.  It can only get better and we'll do it together.

e

Coming in Last Can be Bad Ass!

Jessica Andrason of Crossfit Iron City

Yeah, I know, sounds messed up right?  Who wants to be in last place?  I'm not talking about having a bad workout because you've had too many cheat meals or maybe missed a few WODs so you're feeling out of shape and your performance showed it.  I'm talking about pushing yourself and taking the hard road.  I'm talking about having the slowest time because you pushed yourself as far as you possibly could.

Crossfit is hard in general.  However, it fits that old cliche that "you get out what you put in".  Often times, WODs need to be modified in some way; newbies, the injured, the pregnant, or if the WOD includes movements that are completely new to someone.  There's no shame in that.  Check your pride at the door and accept where you are.  Easier said than done, right?  But that's what we need to do to really improve.  We should always be improving; whether increasing weight, increasing reps, decreasing time, having better form, and/or weaning off modifications; for example decreasing and getting off bands for pull ups.

We need to be brave; to push ourselves and embrace the struggle.  I think it's in the struggle that we learn and grow.  We naturally want to avoid pain and struggle so I understand it feels odd to embrace pain, but that's what I'm saying; don't fight the struggle, embrace it and work through it.  By embracing and accepting it is how we ultimately beat it.  No one likes to fail or feel like a failure.  Many people don't try new things out of that fear of failure and maybe that's why people don't want to really push themselves at The Box.  It takes guts to take risks.

Coralyn Saldana from Team Crossfit Acadamy

Crossfit is competitive.  We all see the scores on the board.  Nobody wants to be last.  Sometimes though,  I like it when I come in last.  If I got "beat" because I did more weight or because I did the workout completely prescribed then I should be proud of that, not embarrassed.  I don't mind taking  more time to finish because I struggled to get that "Rx" by my name.  It's also a good reminder that nobody else really cares how I do.  I mean, I know the coaches do, but although Crossfit is competitive it's still an individual sport.  So if you want to cheat on your reps or do lighter weight to go faster, well, that's up to, and on, you I guess.  I'm certainly not going to feel bad or like a failure in my WOD because you had a faster time than I did because you chose an easier workout.

Also, the coaches have seen and experienced it all; muscle failure and fatigue, bailing out on lifts you can't make, falling on your butt, getting whipped with the speed ropes, hand tears, cussing, puking, and crying.  They certainly won't be shocked when that happens to you.  If you truly push yourself you're eventually going to experiences at least several of those effects.  It's just part of pushing yourself.

Staley from Crossfit Fairfield Post WOD

I think we all (Crossfitters) want to be fit and healthy and come'on maybe even a little bad ass.  Taking the easy way out mainly due to fear is not bad ass.  We're not going to see the results we want by being scared to suffer in our workouts.  So come on...if you're not completely new, injured, or pregnant, take a chance.  Push yourself in your WOD today.  Leave everything you have on the line.  Do more than you did yesterday...and if you come in last on the board, be proud of yourself because you know why you had the slowest time or the least number of reps.  We all have limits, but if you never push yourself you'll never know what your full potential is.  Coming in last can be bad ass!!!

"But I don't want to get bulky!"

Iris Kyle: 2011 Arnold Classic Champion

Disclaimer:  Crossfit is a complete body workout that focuses on all 10 Components of Fitness.  Lifting heavy things is part of that.  I am only talking about weight lifting in this blog post.

"But I don't want to get bulky!"  Let's be honest; if you're a woman, either you've said it yourself or heard others say it.  If you are a Crossfitter it's only a matter of time before you hear someone say it to you.  I know I get really sick of hearing it.  It's based on myths about beauty, strength, fitness, and even how the human body works.

One source of these myths is that women tend to think of body builders when they think about "lifting weights".  Women who whine, "I don't want to get bulky", simply don't understand what female body builders have to do to look the way they do.  First, the sport of body building is not about fitness and function; it's all about appearance.  Second, if you read the athlete profiles in Muscle and Fitness Hers, you'll see that lady body builders eat far too few calories for the amount of work they do (they get most their calories from protein shakes) and spend up to 12 hours a day at the gym.  Many of them take steroids and/or testosterone to gain this kind of muscle.  In the weeks before a competition, body builders starve and dehydrate themselves to make their skin thinner, which shows their muscle striations better.  So unless a woman plans to do these things it's unreasonable to fear that they will look like Iris Kyle, the 2011 winner of the Arnold Classic.


All four of the following pictures are of elite Crossfitters.  They mainly eat a Paleo Diet and do Crossfit.  They exercise for function and fitness, not appearance.  Please note that in these pictures they are in the middle of intense physical activity (all but one during competition) so their muscles are working hard.  I specifically selected these photos because their body types are all different.

Annie Sakamoto: Crossfit legend, 9th place 2011 Crossfit
Games

35-year-old mom of two, Annie Sakamoto, is petite at 5'0" and 115lbs, but has pretty big muscles for her size.  I would say she has more than average muscle growth than even elite Crossfitters.  She also has a very low body fat percentage (about 13%, according to Competitor Magazine), compared to the average 20% that is considered healthy for a woman.

Jenny LaBaw (6th place 2011 Crossfit Games) and Annie
Thorisdottir (1st place 2011 Crossfit Games, Fittest Woman
on Earth 2011)

22-year-old former gymnast, Annie Thorisdottir, 2011 Crossfit Games champion, is taller (5'7'') with very long muscles.  She's doesn't have what I call "round" or "compact" muscles like Annie Sakamoto; Annie Thorisdottir's muscles are thinner and longer.

Camille LeBlanc-Bazinet: 9th place 2010
Crossfit Games, 5th place 2011 Crossfit
Games

23-year-old former gymnast (do you see a pattern here?) Camille  Leblanc-Bazinet is very petite (she's 5'2'' and weighs about 125 lbs), but a complete beast (a positive term) in the gym. She can back squat 240 lbs and deadlift 330 lbs.  However, you wouldn't be able to tell that just by looking at her; that's just her body type.

Heather Bergeron: owner of Crossfit New England,
1st place 2011 Crossfit Games Team Competition

33-year-old mom of three and former marathoner and triathlete, Heather Bergeron, is 5'6'' and weighs 131 lbs.  Notice that her muscles look long and lean  like Annie Thorisdottir's.  She has an awesome 6-pack (a lot of elite Crossfitters do; someday I hope I will too) and she's a little bigger proportionally in the legs.
           

Annie Sakamoto with fan, Jess

Now look at the following pictures of these ladies in a more relaxed positions and more clothes on.  Do they look "bulky" to you?  If you saw them in jeans and t-shirt you'd probably just think they must do some sort of exercise.  I don't think you'd guess that these ladies are WOD (Crossfit Workout Of the Day) killers and considered elite athletes.  All of them do the harderst body weight exercises such as muscle ups and rope climbs.   They can also lift up to three times their body weight.  I doubt most of us can compare to them even at our fittest.  So the concept of "bulking up" is increasingly ridiculous.

Camille LeBlanc-Bazinet

Women who say "I don't want to get bulky" from lifting weights don't fully understand how the human body works.  Women naturally produce between 5-10% the amount of testosterone that men do so just based on this fact it's not likely that a woman would actually gain muscle like a man. 

Annie Thorisdottir with her mom and sister in Iceland

I believe there are also many misconceptions about women with muscle in relation to beauty.  Some women may still consider these ladies "too muscular" and to that I honestly don't have much to say.  It makes me speechless - well almost.  If you want to lose body fat and do some kick-butt workouts, your muscles will grow and eventually show a little bit.  Why do some women consider that bad or undesirable?  Do women who think that the four Crossfit ladies above are "too muscular" prefer to be skinny and flabby with little or no muscle tone?  Is that what they consider healthy and fit?

Heather Bergeron

I've also heard the same argument except the wording was "too masculine", which makes me mad and sad at the same time.  They see healthy women as masculine?  By that "logic", women they claim look feminine must be either fat or skinny fat.  That's what a beautiful women looks like?  Weak and flabby?  What crappy standards for women to live up to!  Strong is beautiful, and weakness is not feminine.  Healthy, fit, strong women (in all their different body types) should be considered beautiful to both women and men.  Those are the standards women should set for themselves.

While doing power cleans at a non-Crossfit gym, I overheard this conversation among some skinny fat women around their mid twenties in age I'd guess.

Skinny fat woman 1: "I'm happy with the way I look."
Skinny fat woman 2: "I know, me too.  I don't want to lift weights and get bulky and look like a man."
Skinny fat woman 3: "I totally agree.  I'm sorry, I like my boobs."

What bothers me about this conversation, as I mentioned before, is that

1. Lifting weight does not make women "bulky".  
2. Muscular women, or you could say fit women, don't look like men.  Again, go back and look at Annie S., Heather, Annie T. and Camille; do they look like men to you?  Give me a break.  
3. Most women who do Crossfit consistently and eat a healthy diet (I'd say Zone, Paleo, Primal, etc.) will still have enough body fat to keep their bras up.  

Since breasts are mostly made up of fat and getting in shape will decrease your body fat, women may indeed lose some jiggle in the chest.  However, it's not as drastic as these three ladies probably think.  Besides, I've never heard of a boyfriend or husband complain that there wife got in shape and now has no boobs.  The only complaint I've ever heard is from the wife who got in shape who says her husband won't stay off of her now.  I guess there might be some men out there somewhere that think Crossfit ladies are "too masculine" but in the words of my wonderful husband, "Only weak men are intimidated by strong women".

Not only do I think that being strong is beautiful, it's also good for your body.  I don't think I have to argue that a good diet and exercise is beneficial for ones health, but I'm talking specifically about lifting weights here.  Besides losing body fat, lifting weights helps decrease a woman's chance of getting Type II Diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis, maintain muscle mass as we age, prevent injuries (because your muscles are stronger), and can help with depression.

Another important thing to keep in mind is that our bodies do not naturally improve with age.  Both men and women lose muscle mass with age.  The rate at which this naturally happens is mainly determined by genetics, but the point is that women need to lift weights just to maintain their current muscle mass as they age.  Since we women lose calcium in our bones as we get older it's even more important that we lift weights which helps keep our bones strong.  This happens because the tendons and muscles pull on the bones during weight bearing exercise and that stimulates the bones to produce more bone cells.  So it makes more sense that instead of women being paranoid to gain too much muscle they should worry about losing muscle mass and not maintaining what muscle they have as they age.

Hopefully you can see that women specifically should worry less about "getting bulky" and worry more about the location of the closest Crossfit gym to start some weight lifting. It's not only good for your body and long-term health, but I'd argue it's good mentally, emotionally, spiritually (topic for another entry) and heck, will probably even improve your sex life too!  So the next time you hear a woman make the excuse that they don't want to hit the gym because they "don't want bulk up" or something similar, you can try to educate them (warning; probably unwanted which results in dirty looks or getting "un-friended" on Facebook), or you could just smile and know that you're working your way to (or maintaining) true fitness and health for the long haul.

Blondes are Out; Brunettes are In

While doing some research for an upcoming blog article I came across this British study that said out of the 2000 men polled by Badoo, 60% of men preferred dark haired women to light haired women.  Although this study was unscientific I did enjoy hearing it. I've heard since I was young that men prefer blondes, in general.  I also know that a lot of women bleach and highlight their hair to get it even more blonde.  Well, nothing profound here on my end, just got a smile out of it...Go Brunettes!

Homemade Laundry Soap: Not Just for Hippies Anymore

Okay, so I honestly don't know if hippies make their own laundry soap.  There are many motivations to making your own soap; allergies, concerns about toxins or other chemicals, and economical.  I decided to try making our own laundry soap just to save money with our large family.  I figured that since we are Christians, politically conservative, pro-life, pro-gun, and homeschool our kids that we're already considered freaks so why not let the freak flag fly proudly and start making our own laundry soap!  I know other families that make their own soap too and they're not nearly as weird as we are if that gives any comfort.  It's really easy to make and you'll save about 89% in costs.

This website was great, has step-by-step instructions with pictures and a great cost break down.  The man who  originally posted the recipe tested his soap against Tide and said it worked just as well.  You can use any kind of bar soap you want and add scented oils or not.  You can also make a dry method although I use the gel/wet.  I think it works great, the only thing I miss is that perfumey, artificial smell that you get from Tide with Downy.  I know, some may be disgusted by that but I like that "illusion of cleanliness" smell.

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/04/09/making-your-own-laundry-detergent-a-detailed-visual-guide/

I still use store bought laundry sheets for the dryer. However, I've heard that you can take a bottle of liquid fabric softener, add 2 gallons of water to it in a bucket, dip a sponge in the bucket and throw the sponge in with the clothes.  If you line-dry your clothes I would still add some fabric softener into the washer.  I personally don't like crunchy clothes.

Anyways, I just thought I'd share.  I know making your own laundry soap is not a new idea, in fact it's an old one but it's coming back in popularity.  I'm also going to try making our own dishwasher soap, I'll let everyone know how that goes!  Good luck if you decide to try and make your own soap and don't worry, you don't need to wear Birkenstocks while making it!

Competitiveness & Aggression in Women

Reader Warning:  Due to the statistical nature of this post it reads a little dry.  Sorry, I'll try to be more clever next time.  Happy Reading!  : )

Whether it’s elementary school girls talking about who has cooties, high school girls criticizing what another girl wore to school on a certain day, or the shock that your neighbor allows her kids to engage in certain behaviors; let’s face it, women like to gossip.  The Social Issues Research Center says that gossip accounts for 67% of women’s conversations.  In general women talk about other people to feel close to one another as they discuss others and validate each other.  I think women also get some sense of power and/or superiority through gossip.  I believe women are competitive and aggressive in their own rite and this is one way they express it.  This is not just for adult females either; gossip and bullying begins with very young girls.  Words can hurt; I think we’ve all experienced that growing up and even in our adult life.  There is now cyberbullying and even a new term; bullycide which is a suicide as a result of bullying.  

Obviously, bullying of any kind (gossip, teasing, exclusion and pranks), whether at school or work is happening and has horrible consequences; suicide being the most extreme of them.  As cited on bullyingstatistics.org, “New bullying statistics 2010 are reporting that there is a strong connection between bullying, being bullied and suicide, according to a new study from the Yale School of Medicine. Suicide rates are continuing to grow among adolescents, and have grown more than 50 percent in the past 30 years. “ 

Besides words, bullying can be any form of physical violence as well, such as pushing, hitting, and even gang-style beatings.  Here are just a few statistics; it’s reported that there are about 282,000 students attacked each month, 56% of public school students have witnessed a bullying crime, and 1 in every 10 students drops out or changes schools due to bullying.  Here are some specific statistics about girls; every 7 minutes a girl is getting bullied, and when bullying does occur, 85% of the time no one intervenes. 

The number of female juvenile arrests doubled between 1989 and 1993.  Female juvenile arrests for violent crimes specifically increased 55% for that same time period.  Between 1999 and 2003, aggravated assault arrest statistics decreased by 17% for girls but simple assault increased by 12%.

I don’t think that bullying stops with kids and teenagers.  In fact, I would argue that in some cases, bullying may escalate and evolve as these girls and teenagers age.  I think the statistics for women being arrested supports my position.  The FBI reported in 2007 that, “… 2.4 million women were arrested in 2006, accounting for nearly a quarter of all arrests in the U.S. Nationwide, the number of women arrested increased by 4% from 1997 to 2006. During the same ten-year period, the number of men arrested decreased by 7.1%.”  So, basically, bullying, juvenile arrest rates, and adult female arrest rates are increasing.  Specifically, the arrest rate for simple assault is increasing among females.

I don’t think it’s a hard sell to convince readers that violence among females is rising; if you want to get more depressed or freaked out as a parent you can always do a YouTube search and watch videos of teenage girls gang-beating other girls on film.  Pretty sick.  However, there are some good and even more important statistics to keep in mind; after school activities in the community, sports, parental involvement, and church help keep kids out of trouble.  “Involvement in church and nonschool activities, for both young men and women, significantly protected them from serious delinquent behavior, which includes fighting, carrying a weapon or violence. However, it did not protect them from risky behavior, such as drinking, smoking or drunk driving.”

This is true for both boy and girls but what more recent studies have shown that sports have more of an impact on girls than boys.  “While it was previously believed that participation in sports would decrease delinquency in boys, it actually did not have a significant protective effect. However, the reverse was true for girls, “whose risk for delinquent behavior was reduced significantly if they took part in sports.”    

Simply put, girls who have involved parents, participate in activities outside of school; specifically sports, are less violent and don’t participate in risky behavior.   Isn’t this what every parent would want for his/her daughters?  A question I wondered about that none of the research specifically addressed was why?  Why do sports help girls be less violent?  Well, I think the answer is pretty obvious; they are just as competitive and aggressive as ever, but they vent their competitiveness and aggression in a healthy way.  Being competitive is not a bad thing by itself.  Neither is aggression.  It’s just how you choose to use and vent that competitiveness and aggression. 

I wish I had hard research to say that Crossfit specifically is a superior outlet for girls and women over other sports – maybe somebody should conduct those studies – but it’s definitely in the category of a competitive sport.  It’s just further evidence that Crossfit doesn’t just benefit the physical, but mental and even behavioral issues as well.  I even find Crossfit therapeutic; I can’t possibly think about my cruddy day when all I can focus on is the workout at hand.  When my body is screaming for every attention my brain can fathom, I forget about everything else.  Oddly, it is relaxing and afterwards, I’m all unwound. 

I openly admit I am biased to Crossfit because I do see it as a superior sport.  I think this is because Crossfit focuses on performance, not appearance and addresses all 10 components of fitness compared to other sports.  Crossfit also simply gets results, period.  Now however, I would add that it’s possible that Crossfit makes women nicer since it’s an extremely healthy way to express competitiveness and aggression.  There's got to be a clever Crossfit slogan somewhere in there!